But that’s not entirely why I haven’t been posting much. It’s also because some of the things I normally write about have become mundane, ordinary parts of my life now. Riding my bike to work? This is my fourth year of doing it. And I’ve had my Xtracycle for over three years now.

I’m still cooking and canning and gardening, too. But it’s kind of old hat now.

I know there are more things I could do in the pursuit of sustainable living. I’m just not sure what to do next.

So I’m asking you: what do you want to know more about? Is there something about bicycling or canning that you would like to know about, or that you would like help with? Or, do you have an idea for a challenge? I’m willing to take on challenges within reason, if you’re willing to play along, too.

Let me know. Let’s do something.

In the meantime, I signed up a while ago for the 2011 EcoChallenge, and then didn’t get around to DOING anything about it. And then apparently they put me on a list of FEATURED BLOGGERS! Oops. So, I’m starting my EcoChallenge late. I’m still going to do the 15 days, starting today, and my challenge is to limit myself to eating meat no more than twice a week. This will take planning. Join me?

However, I started thinking about it, and I really DON’T like the image of myself teetering along a rooftop, or walking a tightrope. Nor to I like to think of myself carrying a heavy bag on each shoulder in an attempt to remain balanced.  And I am definitely NOT a scale.

Yes, it’s just a saying – but I believe the way we think about these things matters. If I keep visualizing myself barely staying on the tightrope, I’m going to be scared and stressed out, and that is definitely not healthy.

So how can I visualize my life and manage all of the different demands it brings me?

Story is one way, and it’s something I’m learning more about. What is my story right now, and what do I really want it to be? How do my job, child-rearing, housekeeping, marriage and writing all fit into my story?  And how am I part of the larger story of God and the universe?

Big questions.  And I’m starting to find answers. I’m cooking up something on the writing front, and have a long-term goal in mind. But I think finding my story is about more than just goal-setting. I mean, a story is supposed to have a plot, and a theme, and a conflict to overcome.  It’s not just a steady plod toward a goal.

The glimmerings are there, in my head. I just have to put it all together.

I had this post half-written when I found that Chris Brogan was asking people to post about the importance of story in their lives. And he’s offering free books, so I figured I’d better get it done!  This post was also partly inspired by Christina Katz’s piece on balance in her weekly e-zine, The Prosperous Writer. And further inspired by a retreat I attended with Narrative Actualization.

Actually, I’m suddenly wondering whether balance is really a good metaphor for life after all. I’ll have to think about that more.

But for now, here you go:

Author Christina Katz (The Writer Mama) recommends A Lovely Little Book About Claiming the Physical, Mental, and Emotional Space You Need to Write. Christina also has a new ebook out, Author Mama.

Debbie Ridpath Ohi interviewed Katz earlier this year on Time Management For Writers.

Fellow Portlander Katy Wolk-Stanley recently noted that control is an illusion.

And here’s a post from Zen Habits on The Lost Art of Solitude.

Good night!

You see, my insurance coverage allows for either glasses or contacts once a year, and my contacts cost more than the allotted amount, because I have low vision and astigmatism. So I chose the glasses this time, both because of the cost and because I really needed a new pair of glasses. The old ones are more than 10 years old, and they don’t provide sufficient vision for anything more than getting around at bedtime.  And hey, I’ll be saving money by not buying contact lens solutions!

But I’m really not used to this glasses thing. I’m not used to having an edge to my field of vision, especially since these are smaller lenses than my old glasses (the optical people insisted that smaller lenses are better for a higher prescription). And wearing glasses always makes me feel sleepy. I’m not sure whether that’s because my eyes get tired, or because my mind associates glasses with bedtime.  Maybe a little of both.

I am at home today with a couple of sick kids, so it’s a good time to get used to the glasses.Hopefully I’ll be seeing more comfortably soon.

When she turned one, we were living in California, and invited all nearby family members for a birthday party. We honestly didn’t think they’d all show up! We were glad they did, and enjoyed it, but it was a big crowd for our small apartment.

At some point we moved from adult-centric parties to kid parties. When she turned seven, we agreed to spring for a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese, with the understanding that this would be the only Chuck E. Cheese party for her, ever! This was surprisingly fun and easy. We reserved a 10:00 a.m slot, which is the earliest available, and were able to have the party before the restaurant got crazy (and before I got crazy). We also did this for our middle daughter when she turned four. The youngest hasn’t had her turn yet.

We’ve also had completely homemade parties. For one, we had homemade cake and did sticker art as an activity.  Another was a slumber party for eight girls, which was a bit much for me. Eight seven- and eight-year-olds in the house means DRAMA if everyone doesn’t get along.

Other times, we’ve limited birthdays to just the family, especially when the kids are very small. For summer birthdays, it’s fun to have a family party in the park, where we can all relax, talk and watch the kids play.

This time it’s a slumber party again, but with just a few girls. In fact, we’re calling it a sleepover and not a slumber party. I think it will be very low key, and we’ll have less chance of personality conflicts.

Things are not so homemade tonight, though. It’s been a busy week of back-to-school, and I woke up this morning with a migraine. So I bought a cake and some easy, low-prep food instead of trying to do everything myself.  My dear, dear husband did most of the house cleaning, and he’s planning to just stay out of the way.

Well, they’ll be arriving any minute now — wish us luck!

Cookie-baking: I wanted molasses cookies, because I had some delicious, buttery ones at an earlier holiday gathering. But rather than asking for the recipe, I searched for one online: “thin buttery molasses cookies”. Apparently there is something called “thin molasses cookies,” but they’re intended to be thin and candy-like. When I mixed up the batter, I didn’t like the consistency (mostly butter, sugar and molasses and very runny), so I added more flour.  When I baked them, they were first thin and chewy (didn’t puff up at all), and then thin and crunchy when they cooled. I had a lot of batter left, so I decided to add an egg, some baking soda, and a splash of vinegar to see what would happen. They pretty much turned out the same; just slightly less crunchy in the middle.  I didn’t like them, but the family ate them all.

Calling the optometrist’s office: Um. I still never did that.

Teaching the kid to read: That would be my four-year-old. No, I never intended to have her reading in two weeks. We did work on phonics and play games and read out loud a lot. She’s progressing nicely.

Losing weight: Ha ha. Yeah. I had good intentions of at least getting exercise, and did exercise on a few days out of the two weeks, but not enough. Why? We did have a lot of cold and/or rainy weather, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the only reason.

Spending time with family: Yes, definitely.We played games, read books, and watched movies together. We spent time with extended family members as well.  Last night we shrieked with laughter just from rolling a ball around the room. This was easily the most successful item on my list.

Writing: This went quite well, too. This is only the fourth entry I’ve put up on this blog in two weeks, which is low, but I also managed five pieces on ParkroseGateway.com and one on Six Boxes of Books. Best of all, I did some soul-searching and goal-setting.

I took advantage of Charlotte Rains Dixon‘s offer of a free 15-minute coaching session, in order to clarify where I want to go as a writer.  And in preparation, I did a lot of thinking about that, and came up with several things I haven’t been liking about my writing life. First, I haven’t been doing enough writing. But why? Sure, life gets in the way — but I think it’s also because writing is a dilemma for me. The dilemma is over what I should be doing – should I be writing list articles aimed at parenting magazines to make money, or cheap online articles for money, or blogging, or just whatever I want to write? We can certainly use money, so if I’m using my time not making money (as well as not cleaning house, spending time with family, etc.), I feel guilty.

Well, I’ve decided I want no more of that. I’m going to work hard on things I feel passionate about, whether it’s blogging or writing articles for magazines or trying some fiction.  My goals right now are simple: daily journaling (even if brief) and daily blogging (on at least one of my several blogs; it won’t always be this one). I’ll also be trying my hand at personal essays, with the goal of getting one published.

Reading good books: I read ten books I hadn’t read before, plus re-read The Dark Is Rising, The Grey King and Silver on the Tree by Susan Cooper (it’s a seasonal thing).  This resulted in too many late nights, but was both enjoyable and worthwhile.

Keeping up with social networks: I felt like I often spent less time horsing around online than usual, but was able to keep up just fine. Yesterday I took an entire day off from the internet, and my life did not fall apart!

Lastly, did I do all of this on a schedule, as I originally suggested I might? Not really. I did make a list of things I wanted or needed to do, and divided them into morning, afternoon, and evening tasks. For instance, I put writing in the morning, because once I’m fully awake that’s usually when I have the most energy. But I didn’t always follow that plan; just used it as a guideline.

Overall, I feel good about how I spent winter break. I felt a great deal of joy and optimism (no mean feat, as I’ve been struggling with depression all fall), and although I didn’t do everything I wanted to, I did do the things that were most important to me: reading, writing, and spending time with family.  I feel good about the writing goals I’ve set for the year, and about life in general.

Of course, as a parent I now find myself in the position of trying to make things fair and/or explaining that life is not fair.

For instance, how do you make sure everyone gets an equal number of rides to day care on the Xtracycle (one person always has to provide their own ride) when one person got only half a ride one day?

Yes, that was the problem this morning. Yesterday I got a flat tire halfway to day care. It’s only half a mile from our house anyway, so I sent the girls onward on foot, walked my bike home and caught a bus.  And I successfully patched the tire in the evening! Yay, me.

This morning, one child said “So and so agreed that I could ride on the Xtracycle today because I only got half a ride yesterday.”  “OK,” I replied, relieved that I wasn’t going to have to deal with it.

Ha. Once we got outside, the other child said that she never agreed to anything! And the first was still insisting that it wasn’t fair because she only got half a ride yesterday.

I didn’t bother pointing out that if she had gotten a whole ride today, she would then be half a ride ahead of her sister. We had to leave. I told child #2 to get on, and of course child #1 was furious.  I said, “I’m sorry.” I didn’t say anything about life not being fair. I think I might still be allergic to that phrase, even if it’s true.

And I waited until right now to post anything for today, too, so I’m leaving you with a couple of links to Dry Creek Chronicles, a blog by Rick Saenz, a writer, bookseller and homesteader in Kentucky.

What Are Health and Happiness Worth? gives one writer’s perspective on the simpler life many people lead in the Philippines, and asks whether our modern conveniences really make us happier.

One Family in the Great Depression shares a first-person account of how one family survived the Depression, and again asks whether everything we have now really makes us happier.

Read and enjoy! Or learn…or something. Oh, and you can see a list of all of my daily posts here.

There are other kinds of sustainability. We need to live in an economically sustainable way, for instance, rather than depending on other people’s consumerism for a living.

And we also need emotional and physical sustainability, which is more personal. If I’m stressed out all the time, I’m probably not living in a sustainable way. And if I’m not getting enough sleep and not eating well, my body will probably tell me that I’m not living sustainably.

Right now I’ve got a bad headache. I’m not sure my body’s really telling me anything with that — but for now, I’m going to do what I need to do to take care of the headache instead of coming up with a better blog post than this one. Because that seems to be the sustainable choice right now.

Why? I just knew this morning that I really needed it. I haven’t been working 8 hours a day for money this past week, but I have been busy, working on my house, working with my kids on various things, working on my personal health (lots of physical activity!), and doing volunteer work.  I always feel like I’m not getting enough done, so it’s usually not easy to take a day off. But today, I really, really did.

I have two days of paid work this week, and then the rest of the week “off.” I’m now looking forward to a productive week, rather than dreading it.