Day 3 was pretty uneventful as far as transportation went. I didn’t need to go anywhere; the only problem was when I needed to mail something and couldn’t find any stamps.  If I’d had access to the car, I might have jumped in and gone to the post office to buy stamps and put the envelope in the mail. As it was, I found a way to print the postage I needed online, and got the envelope into the mailbox before the mail carrier arrived.

Why didn’t I just bike to the post office? It’s at the bottom of a big hill. I suppose I could have biked to a different (but further away) post office, or I could have bought stamps at Fred Meyer, but that didn’t occur to me at the time. And the hill? I’m not just being lazy. I’ve never been able to get up that hill without walking my bike and half-dying.

Right now, however, I’m pondering a ride down that very hill. You see, I’m adding people to the challenge! Yes, Aaron Walker chimed in and went car-free yesterday, so that brings me to six car-free days (through this Friday). And Shetha, although she didn’t actually say “I’m joining in, match me!” is in the middle of five car-free days of her own. And I’m thinking about matching her just for the heck of it. But that means I have to take my daughter to the summer camp bus by bike on Monday. The bus stop isn’t far, but it’s at the bottom of that hill, and we’d have to take her gear (not really a big deal).

Really, I don’t see why I can’t do it. Do you?

The Times article tells us why we’re addicted to the Internet and technology use:

The stimulation provokes excitement — a dopamine squirt — that researchers say can be addictive. In its absence, people feel bored.

So, for instance, getting notification of a new email or a new tweet gives your brain a little ZING! So does surfing the web, discovering new and exciting things.

The article also discusses focus and multitasking, citing a study in which people were asked questions to determine whether they were heavy multitaskers, and then tested on their focus level and ability to switch between tasks. The results are not particularly encouraging.

Heavy multitaskers actually have more trouble focusing and shutting out irrelevant information, scientists say, and they experience more stress.

Scientists also found that heavy multitaskers had more difficulty switching between tasks.

Sample tests were included with the article, so of course I took them myself. I don’t know whether I qualify as a heavy multitasker, because they didn’t include that questionnaire. I did very well on the focus test, getting only one item wrong, but apparently I’m very slow at switching between tasks.

I’m not sure whether that’s a good or bad result — or whether there really is a good or bad result. Perhaps we’re just all different in the way we process information?  It might be more informative to test a group of people who haven’t been exposed to technology, then have them use computers or other technology for some period of time, and then re-test them.

Here are the tests, if you want to take them yourself. Come back and report on how you did!

Test Your Focus

Test How Fast You Juggle Tasks

I’d never thought about it much before, but Confederate history is part of my family’s history, too.  My maternal grandfather’s family originated from the southern states.  My aunt recently forwarded to me a history (written by a cousin) of my great-great-great grandfather’s Civil War service — in the Confederate army. And he’s not the only ancestor who served on that side.

I’m always interested in family history, but this case is a little different. Is it something to be proud of, or should I be ashamed? I have no idea. I don’t think I can even frame it in those terms. For one thing, I didn’t know the man, and I don’t know anyone who did (he died in 1909). So I know nothing of his motivation for fighting in the war.

Great-Great-Great Grandpa Russell served in the 42nd Regiment of the Mississippi Volunteers.  In his pre- and post-war life, he was a farmer with a wife and children (14 children with two different wives!). He never rose above the rank of Private; he was probably just one of many ordinary men in Mississippi.

No doubt Russell thought he was doing the right thing by serving in the army, whatever his reasons were. But thinking it’s so doesn’t necessarily make it right, no matter how sincere you are.

My cousin included the text of a letter Russell wrote to his wife. He wrote with obvious affection, which is good to see:

My dear Melvina I will have to close as I havnt time to rite more  I will have a chance to send this by hand by one of the 17 Miss.  I wante you to write if you pleas for I havent recvd a letter from you sence in June…

But he also says this:

I am so vary tierd of the way we have to liv lying in brest works I haven’t had but 2 clean shirts in 2 months I am vary black and dirty and stink as bad as a negrow…

Ouch.  So he clearly also shared the prejudices of his time and place in history.

And that leaves me with mixed feelings. While I certainly recognize that Russell was wrong in saying things like that (believe me, I winced while reading it), and that the Confederacy was wrong in defending slavery, I don’t hate or condemn my ancestor for it, either. And while finding out more about family history is fascinating, I don’t feel like celebrating this part of it, either.

I do have to agree with the view that it’s a good idea to know history, though. Not just so that we won’t repeat it, but so that we understand who we are as a society, and how we got to be this way.

On that note, fellow blogger Gunfighter will be taking a look at some incidents in Confederate history in a decidedly non-celebratory way. I’m interested in seeing what he has to say. You might want to take a look as well.

1. Decluttering the house. We have too much stuff. We’re going to do the Clean Sweep routine and pull everything out onto the lawn to decide what to keep, toss or sell.  We won’t be redecorating, just decluttering and cleaning, one room at a time.  If we don’t get them all done, that’s OK.
2. Clearing garden space. We have a big, weedy, sandy patch in our back yard. We need to clear out the weeds and either get some soil in there or put in more raised beds and some bark dust.  Well, we might be able to at least clear out the weeds. I have a new, organic,  non-toxic spray that seems to work.
3. Planting. We planted some veggies already, and they’ve sprouted a bit. The peas and lettuce are doing well. The fava beans, carrots and green onions only have a few sprouts each. We’ve also got more space in that bed to plant, so we can start more veggie seeds for later.  We could also start some herbs in pots.
4. Reading books. We all love to read. I’m sure we can make time for that. We’ll probably visit the library at least once, too.
5. Watching movies. My husband apparently intends to watch a movie every night. This probably means non-kid-friendly movies.
6. Visiting with friends. I have plans to spend time with friends in town and with some coming from out of town.
7. Playing outside. It should be nice for at least part of the break. Our middle daughter just started playing softball, and we need to get out and throw the ball around with her and the other kids.

Eek! It does start to sound like a lot. I do have ideas for how to handle it, though.

1. If we don’t finish everything, it’s OK.  If we only get two rooms decluttered, and if all we do in the backyard is spray weed-killer, that’s OK.
2. Don’t expect kids to work all day, even with the promise of a reward. Set a reasonable amount of time or a reasonable number of tasks for them to complete.
3. Balance work time and fun time; schedule a bit of both each day or alternate days. And don’t forget that work can be fun.

As a busy mom, what’s a typical day like for you?
I’m really disciplined about my time which helps me be super-productive most of the time.  After I eat breakfast, drink coffee and help kids get off to school by 8:30, I take my dogs for a walk in the woods, often with a friend (this is my prime social and exercise time) for 45 minutes to an hour.  Then I spend most of the day from 9:45 to 3:30 or 4 working while the kids are at school, with breaks for lunch, a shower, and a snack or other sanity break.

After the kids get home I try to stay off the computer and have a little time to engage with them and/or drive them or pick them up from activities (we carpool as much as possible).  I also use the afternoon time to spend at least 30 minutes on home-related stuff like dealing with the mail, cleaning off the counter and conquering items on my to do list.  By 6 or 6:30 I’m making dinner, depending on what we’re having and what the carpool schedule is like, and we usually sit down for dinner at 7:00.

After dinner and after the kids go to bed I often read and respond to personal emails for 20 minutes or so.  I try to go to bed between 10 and 11 depending on what time I need to get up the next morning.  Of course if the kids are sick or I’m travelling or anything else comes up, the schedule gets turned upside down.

How old are your kids now? Do they help with meal preparation?
Solomon turns 13 this month and Celia is 10 (she’ll be 11 in May).  These days they have a fair amount of homework and sports and music practice so they often don’t have time to help with dinner during the week.  They usually take turns setting the table, though, and if either of them is finished with all their responsibilities they like to help with dinner.  Celia likes to make salads and loves to bake, while Solomon loves to peel potatoes and other vegetables, squeeze citrus, and other hands-on tasks.  He’s also my videographer and editor for cooking videos.

Your new book (SOS! The Six-O-Clock Scramble To the Rescue: Earth-Friendly, Kid-Pleasing Dinners For Busy Families) focuses on making meals more environmentally friendly. What else would you like to tell us about the book?
I’m really excited about the new book—it comes out next month, just in time for Earth Day.  The book has new recipes (about 300 of them) and some great strategies for growing your own herbs, composting, eating sustainable seafood and more meatless meals, deciding when to buy organic, and other earth-friendly tips and suggestions.  It’s also seasonal to help you shop locally and enjoy the best flavors, and it has a fabulous seasonal fruit and vegetable chart to help you plan your meals and grocery lists.

Do you have any plans for adding breakfast and lunch menus to The Scramble?
Not at this time, but we may be adding a dinner party planning feature and we have a new app coming out soon to help people use their grocery lists and menus on their iphones and other “smart” phones.

Thank you, Aviva! SOS! The Six-O-Clock Scramble To the Rescue comes out April 13, 2010 and is available for pre-order on Amazon.com (affiliate link).  If you’re interested in trying The Scramble meal-planning service, use the promo code GLKAT4852 to get $3 off on a 6 or 12 month subscription. I don’t get anything for recommending it, and I don’t get anything if you sign up. I’m just a satisfied customer.

“Oh, no”

“What?!”

My husband and I responded simultaneously. He turned the alarm off and went back to sleep, since he was going to work two hours late today.  I rolled over and didn’t go back to sleep; I got up, checked the news on the web, and then went in to work early.

It’s now just after 9:00 p.m.  If I go to bed now, can I get up at 5:00 again?

I’ve been a night person for as long as I can remember, but when I do manage to get a decent amount of sleep and get up in the morning, I can be very productive.  This would be a good thing for my writing.  I’ve been struggling with finding time in the evening. The girls need my attention, and that’s how it should be! Tonight, we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit and watched a little American Idol, and it was great. I want to spend time with them.

I do like to stay up late, but by the time they’ve gone to bed, I’m not at my most productive. I’m often caught in between: too tired to think but not tired enough to sleep.

So I’m heading for bed. I’ll let you know if I get up in the morning.

What do we wear?

Me: Tights, slacks, wool socks, turtleneck, wool sweater, fleece jacket, knitted muffler, wool hat with ear flaps, knitted gloves (I feel like a character from a Richard Scarry book now).  I have a wool coat for recess duty and other non-cycling times, but it was so cold today (the high was 31) that we had indoor recess.

Kids: Two layers of clothing, top and bottom. Wool socks or tights if possible. Puffy winter coats. Knit hats under helmets, but I think they just wear their hoods when not cycling. Gloves or mittens. Scarves if they want them (puffy coats generally cover the neck).

Does it work?  Mostly. I’m glad we don’t have to go too far. Coming back tonight, my fingers were getting pretty numb. I’m planning to use an extra pair of gloves tomorrow.  After I picked the kids up at school (half a mile from home), my face got so cold it ached, and the kids were complaining about their ears falling off. I’m not inclined to start wearing a face mask, though. Things will warm up again later this week, and I can keep the lower half of my face warm under my scarf.

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Photo by Jeff Williams

I told them we’d have to do some cleaning up first.  They were supposed to clean up the family room and empty the dishwasher.  I started on the office/hallway area.  Within a few minutes, the yelling and arguing began.

I can’t please anyone by trying to referee these discussions.  “She won’t help!” “I won’t help unless she apologizes!“  And I just wanted to yell “You kids shut up and get off my lawn!”

I finished my task and sat down to keep my cool by playing Bejeweled 2.  While playing, I had an idea.

They were definitely not going to the market, and I knew why.  It wasn’t just a punishment.  It was because people out there really, really don’t want to be around kids who are acting up, or around kids who can’t be respectful of other people. I’ve read about it on the internets!

So, after giving them time to actually get some cleaning done, I calmly explained it to them.

“I just wanted to let you know that I do appreciate the work you did, but you won’t be going to the farmers’ market today, because people there don’t want to be around kids who can’t be respectful, and you were not being respectful to each other or to me,” I said.

“But she started it, and I tried to ignore her, and I’m not going to talk it out unless she…”

“Well, that’s fine,” I interjected.  “I’m not asking you to talk it out.  You can if you want to. But you won’t be going to the market because you weren’t being respectful, and people don’t want to be around kids who aren’t respectful.”

“Can we do something to make up for it so that we can go?” asked my eldest.

“No, not today, but I’m sure you’ll get another chance sometime,” said I.

And that was that!  No crying or whining, and Steven made a lovely, solitary trip to the market.

Techniques inspired by Parenting With Love and Logic by Jim Fay and Foster Cline

Actually, I admitted to myself a couple of weeks ago that it just wasn’t happening.  It’s been a weird month, and the weirdness started in October.  My grandfather passed away in mid-October, and I went to California for the funeral.  I knew this was coming, but it still pretty well rocked my existence (and still does).

And in turn, that’s made my normal state of medicated clinical depression harder to handle.  Then we’ve got the usual family financial stresses, and the bike break-downs, and other things that my befuddled brain is not remembering right now.  For the past couple of weeks, it’s really just come down to putting my family and my own health and stress level first.

On the other hand, I really do like what I’ve written so far, and would like to continue adding to it.  So maybe I’ll declare a personal novel writing month at some point and finish it off.

In the meantime, I’ve got to focus on things that are a higher priority.

Unfortunately, that’s not true for everyone.  It hasn’t even always been true for me!  I had a secretarial job previously in which I got three sick days per year!  With no rollover!  That meant that I generally just went to work unless I was feeling truly awful, and that I spread my germs to the rest of the office.

Businesses:  Healthy workers are good workers.

Businesses that hire parents, male or female:  We gotta take care of the kids.   Even if we have two working parents in the household, and even if we’re single working parents.  Give us a break.

My employer:  THANK YOU!